A car (part 2)

Part 2 - Your post college years.

When you graduate - you may be tempted to go buy or lease an expensive car.

Don't do this.

Several reasons.

1.) Having a car ties you down. When you are young (22-39), you will want to be able to pick up and move around at any time. Your friends will move around. You may meet different girls in different cities. Owning an expensive car will lock you into debt and will be hard to sell.

2.) After college, girls care less about cars and more about where you live and what you do. Most girls you meet will be successful and not as impressed by a flashy car just yet. Unless its very flashy (ie porsche, ferrari, etc), and then you probably don't need to read this blog anyway.

3.) When you are 22 - 28, you have to start saving for a house and retirement. If you don't understand the concept of compounding interest, then google it and understand that is where you make all your savings work. Don't throw money at an expensive car. Not yet. Wait until your budget is settled. Things can change dramatically when you are young.

4.) Freedom. Pure and simple, the less bills you have, the more freedom you have and you can move around and enjoy life more. You can change careers or take time off for extended months.

5.) Buy a car you can pay off in 3 years. That means you are looking for something around $14 - 16,000.

What's in a Car

Today is a snow day in the northeast.
In that spirit, I'll talk about the reason why half of you are sitting at home, sipping on some coffee and khalua.

What's in a car?

We'll start in high school.

In the land of suburbia, a car means freedom. If you're lucky enough to have your parents buy you a car, pat your lazy ass on the back and keep telling yourself you've earned it by earning those B's on your report card and making the JV basketball squad. What are you looking for in a car?

I'll throw out my recommendations and things to consider:

-Fuel Economy - fuel's likely to remain relatively cheap for the next few years as we deal with this global recession. But after that, you don't want to be paying $4.50 a gallon for a guzzler. That means avoid the big monsters like the older Suburbans, Explorers, etc.

-Off-road Capability - if you live anywhere it gets muddy, snowy, or congested with traffic (you do), off-road capability rocks. Look at Jeep Wranglers. Reasons: You can get anywhere in the snow. You can take it to tailgates in muddy fields (think ahead to college), you can take it camping, you can take it to the beach, you can take it to the mountains to ride. Bottom line, look at cars and trucks that get you anywhere at anytime. Being stuck in the snow is lame. You want be able to take advantage of that hot chick all alone at home on those snow days.
Other suggestions: Subarus, Audis, Jeeps

-Insurance - if you're paying for this, don't get crazy with your vehicle. When you are young, chances are you are going to get into an accident and insurance will go up. It will probably not be your fault, but smashing up your new Lexus GS is a waste of a car that shouldn't be owned by you until you're 27+.

-Automatic vs Standard - Dudes, if you can't drive stick, you have a problem. Large trucks are stick. Motorcycles, dirt-bikes, and real sports cars are manuals. If you own a "sports car" and its automatic, you are a GIRL. If you get a car, get stick. If you get a truck and it doesn't come in stick, check to be sure you have a pair, then reconsider if you can find a similar truck in stick. Don't be the laughing stock of the construction crew you work on one summer when you try to back up the dump truck and you have to get out and cry that you can't move it.


-Bottom Line
In high school, two things in cars rule: Looks and Fun. Girls like fast cars that look good. It's an instant turn on. You will see some crusty looking dudes with nice cars getting some fine ass. The fun factor is the second part. In high school and life, you gotta be the one who makes things happen. If you have a vehicle you can take anywhere and beat up and have fun in, you'll be the one controlling the action. Be sure you consider your goals heavily before "investing" in a vehicle. Wait - I know what you are saying. Investing is not possible because its a depreciating asset. You are investing in yourself, your image, your life experiences, not an asset.

What I'm Listening To

Check out Blue October - Dirt Room
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80gzdJddj94

Check out Airborne Toxic Event - Sometime Around Midnight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2YnDlEMXiU

Word of the day!

Alert! "Fresh" has taken on new meaning.

Fresh

Pronunciation:
\ˈfresh\
Function:
adjective
Etymology:
Middle English, from Anglo-French fresch, freis, of Germanic origin; akin to Old High German frisc fresh; akin to Old English fersc fresh
Date:
13th century

Fresh - ready to go, ready to rock & roll, ready to shred

Ex:
"Yo, call me when you're fresh so we can hit the road."
"I'm fresh"
"Yes sir, I have those reports you asked for and they are fresh."
"Yo dude, I was with this babe last night, things we're going well, she was so fresh."

Your First Party

You've made it to your first big party.

How'd you get here? Maybe that wealthy preppie kid a town over is throwing a rager or maybe you finally got in with the guy whose swinger parents skip town every weekend to mix it up in el Caribe with the natives. Doesn't matter. You're first party can make or break you as a person in high school. You need to be prepared.

Pre-Party Planning
Have a good cover story. Also, you need to invest in a sober driver or be able and willing to walk back from this party on your own two feet. You have no idea what could happen at this party, so don't count on staying over - have a backup plan in place. Driving after drinking is not a backup plan. My lawyers tell me that I can not endorse driving under the influence, so don't do it. The fines and medical bills will put you in a financial hole the rest of your life (that means you will not live the dream and you fail at life). Have fun working at Walgreens!

First Step

Before you even consider going to any party – know your tolerance. Alcohol affects everyone in different ways – if you tend to be sloppy when you drink, you better be aware of this and know how to compensate for it. (That means you need to drink at least once before you go to your first big party Einstein.)

Odds and Ends
Never be without a few key items.
-A lighter
-Cigarettes (does not matter if you smoke or not)
-Cell phone & car charger
-Shot glass
-Gum
-Condom
-Bottle opener
-Knowledge of good music

-Knowledge of drinking games

These items are the most asked for items at parties. They can help start conversation; it's a good social networking tool. This way, if Johnny Football Star comes up and can't open his beer, you can help him out while simultaneously gaining style points for being prepared and winking at Suzy “party favor” Swanson.

Arriving
Try to bring something to the party that distinguishes you. When I worked in the kitchen of a female prep school, we'd make hot wings every Friday night before we left. At whatever party we decided was the best for the night, we'd bring the wings to the drunk kids. Instant drinks and bong hits for us. Try bringing some kind of different micro-brewery beer, a funnel (beer bong whatever), expensive liquor, or maybe have ping pongs balls with you. The point is to make a statement.

To be rich, you must live richly

So let’s get back to basics for a blog. One of the main reasons I write is to help my readers get the most out of life. With that comes money. So you want to be rich? Doesn’t everyone.

Why do you want to be rich?

Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy a lot of other cool shit. But that’s not the point. Being a consumivore (as opposed to carnivore, herbivore, omnivore, Al-Gore) is not what brings happiness. Money brings freedom. With money, you don’t have to show up for work Monday morning. You don’t have to skip out on the trip to Vegas this month. No one is calling you, hounding you to pay off that high interest rate credit card. No one sends you bills. You are free.

Freedom is happiness.

How do you get rich?

My very successful, Italian entrepreneurial friend from college once told me, “Jackson if you want to be rich, you have to live richly. Live like you are rich.”

50% of you reading this statement will immediately have an adverse reaction to this statement. “That won’t work!” you say. You can’t go spending money you don’t have, going into debt, living richly.

No shit.

His point was, you must invest in yourself. You must have things in common with those who are successful. Believe it or not, you vast knowledge of the Sony Playstation system will not advance you up the corporate ladder. Rich people do rich things. They boat, go to the shore, ski at mountain resorts, play recreational sports like golf, tennis, etc, and are well-traveled. When you are young, you can’t do all of this. But you can set yourself up for success. Don’t count on your parents to do this for you. In order to have things in common with rich people, start young. You’ll find the things they do are actually very fun and you’ll always have a conversation starter.

Take golf lessons. Learn to ski. Take a foreign language course and try to get a trip abroad to Europe once. Learn to swim. Eat seafood. Read one deep novel and have a good quote from it. You’ll be surprised how easy it will be to talk to the big-wigs in your area. This will open doors. The next step – go through them the right way.

Sex: The Don'ts

What Not to Do...

1.) Resist the urge to mutter all of those clever phrases that are coming into your head while you're boning... Believe it or not "I have a robot dick!" and "Me so horny", or "You taste like corn" will not turn the girl on. It's her job to make noise and you're job to just make it happen. If you do have to talk, just ask short simple questions that involve answers that make her say "Yeah! YeahYeahYeah!"

2.) Other potential mood killers - you haven't showered or tidied up down there. That means shave or trim and if you're a chronic sweater, try some Gold Bond medicated powder. It works wonders for your boys.

3.) Resist the urge to bring lube for your four inch virgin penis. These girls are ready to go. KY Jelly says "I put waaaayyy too much thought into this and I'm really creepy, still wanna touch me?" Game over. Thanks SuperBad.

4.) This is the biggest one. Do not under any circumstance say "I love you." This is huge. This will completely freak the girl out. She'll think you want to get married and impregnate her. She'll lose all respect for you as a man. Saying I love you is like saying "I'm super desperate and you are the only girl that would sleep with me." If a girl makes you say it to have sex with her - walk away. That means the girl is legally insane and no amount of pussy is worth the price she will make you pay with her craziness. Get up, go home, rub one out, whatever, do not shack up with this blood-sucker!

So now you're here...
Just remember every girl is different. Some girls are freaks in bed and it's easy. Other girls are self-conscious or insecure. Try to find a girl that is confident being naked, they are the most fun. Also, some girls are not orgasmic. It doesn't matter how many ways you stick it to some girls, the sex will not be good. So keep an open mind. Speaking from experience, some girls will click with you and you will literally go hours with them. Other girls will just not click with you and it won't be that great no matter what you try.

Oh, and the key to lasting hours? Experience helps, but really it's a mental thing starting out. You gotta keep your mind focused on lasting, not blasting. Find something to think about during sex. I had one friend who swore by old ladies and toilet seats. I always found if I ran through a list of items, like what I had to do the next day or thought about sports, I had no problem lasting. This will eventually not be necessary, it will just come naturally for most. Some girls are naturally tighter too, so it never hurts to have this technique mastered.

When you're finished...

Smoke a cigarette, send some text messages, have a glass of anti-oxidant rich green tea, whatever you need. Check the condom to make sure it's intact. Now go ahead and brag to all your boys about how you were freaking king kong in the bedroom. You earned it.